There are many things I do not know about relationships. Like how to be in a Christ-centered one, perhaps. Or what it would look like to pursue someone to marry. Not too sure how to date someone or what a timeline is or all that jazz. I don't have any idea what I'm getting myself into but I know that God is present in my life and his. I think the unknown about relationships scares me more than anything else in my life because it is risky. I have never been too good at commitment, with men especially. I have watched my friends relationships fall apart and watched them grow as well. It is a confusing time in my life where I have discovered how to love someone other than myself and put them into the mix of things. It is not a very secure feeling which frankly scares the crap out of me. God has been giving me calmness and peace though which is amazing in this sea of chaos.
I want to be relational in all that I do. Relationships are such a blind act of faith. They are hard and beautiful all wrapped into one. It's a new season of life, with many many risks and challenges but the unknown of it all is pushing towards the same goal, seeking after God with all that we have, together. It has been difficult and there has been a lot of baggage that we've both had that we didn't know we were carrying. A lot of insecurities too. But that all has been wiped away by Jesus. Every insecurity or doubt I have had these past couple of months has been wiped away as I've cried out to the Lord for guidance. I honestly have no clue what I am doing when it comes to being in a relationship but God knows so really I can be comfortable with not. Isn't it great that we have a protector in our relationships. God wants us to protect our hearts and seek Him first in our relationships. That is what I am trying my hardest to do and I hope to encourage you if you are struggling in a relationship that is not focused on the Lord to pray. Pray for guidance in an impossibly unknown situation. We don't always know what the future holds and that is okay, we just need to trust the Lord with it.
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I believe as Christians we have a mission to use our careers to bring Glory to God. That is one of the hardest things to do when you work in a school and aren't really allowed to tell people about the Gospel. But I still believe God calls us to disciple to those around us, no matter how difficult. I've been challenged a lot recently with opportunities to minister to students and share what I know about Jesus, which isn't as much as I want it to be. I want to know everything about Jesus and yet I find myself still feeling as if I only know a small portion of who He really was. Anyway, the career of God is one given to us by Him to give Glory to God. Right now in my life, I don't know if I will stay at the same job for the rest of my life. I don't even know if I will have the same career, to be honest. I am very unsure of what God has in store for my career but my number one career is following Him and trying to bring Glory to God in all that I do. Whether I decide to teach or become a missionary, I can bring Glory to God in any situation. I want to chase after the career of God. His mission for me on Earth, and you, is greater than ourselves. It is something that can push us in ways that will take us out of comfort and into a crazy unknown. Although, I'm not really sure what God is calling me into I am going to chase after every opportunity for my future and for my career.
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July 2023
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