Hello again! It has been awhile, per usual. I have been doing well. I hope you are too. If you are reading this, then you are probably a faithful reader of this blog and I really just commend you. It is clearly not a consistent blog, but hey! I am a mother, wife, youth group leader, etc. HA there is always a ton going on and to be honest I haven't been driven enough to write. But alas, I really would love to connect with this here blog again. It is special to me and it is a great way to process life.
The past few months have been so sweet, eye opening, and honestly wonderful. I am in a good place again. Last time I wrote, things were looking bleak. Postpartum life is difficult. It is a rollercoaster of emotions but now that my handsome Archibald is 10 months old, I am feeling significantly better. Anti-depressants help, of course. My whole life I have struggled with irrational thoughts, emotions, and feelings of self-harm. Now, that I have been on anti-depressants for several months the negative thoughts don't come nearly as often, and when they do I feel like I have time to discern what to do in the moment. I am able to make rational decisions once again. I am becoming more confident in my parenting abilities. All is good. I am feeling good. Wonderful! Life lately has really just felt like a sigh of relief. Woah. You know, God is so good. Sometimes when life feels so mundane or repetitive, I know God is sovereign. Through everything. The Holy Spirit has given me immense comfort and joy the past few months. He is our comforter. I have been praying that over Archie a lot. I have been asking God to give Archie the Holy Spirit so that he always feels the embrace of the Father. Something so sweet and special. I am so thankful I get to teach Archie about Jesus. Not something I ever want to take lightly. It is significant. I think it will be wonderful but also so challenging. I need to live for Christ each day, myself. My biggest prayer the past few days has been for God to just use me. For me to be receptive to His Spirit. The need for the Father is necessary. I think I want to end this post by saying I don't always have the best relationship with God. I am not perfect. I know sometimes I write like I am always connecting with God in a divine way, and that is just not the case. There are days when I don't even think about praying. There are days when I am angry at my husband or son, or the dog ....always the dog. HA he is not a very good listener. There are things I am working on overcoming. Like being a better wife and listening to my husband. Not thinking I am a better parent than my husband. Thankfully, I have God to walk me through everything. He challenges me to be better. To be who He created me to be.
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