There will always be someone better, more equipped, more sufficient, more adequate.
These thoughts run through my head a lot. The feeling of inadequacy creeps in and tells us that we are not good enough. It tells us that we will never be enough, that others are constantly better. I've felt this ring in clear in my mind. I really have felt unqualified to do my jobs, whether that be to lead youth ministry or teach, I've found myself feeling inadequate in these areas. It's never an easy feeling. Inadequacy tells us that we are not equipped to do the work that God has called us to. If He has called us to it, how dare we say we are not good enough. God wants us to be present in the work that we do and He wants us to feel sufficient. Heck, we want to feel sufficient. It keeps us doing our jobs they way we were meant to. If we constantly feel like we are not good enough, what is the point of trying, really? It is not easy to put effort into things we feel we're lacking. So, God woke me up from that a little bit. I read my bible daily and that's been a huge triumph in my life the past two years. I didn't always read everyday and I'm proud of that accomplishment. But I've been struggling to absorb what I am reading in the Word. Sometimes I read and read and read the same passage and feel nothing. Everyday the same scripture and have no idea what I am reading or what to do with the information I've read. It has left me feeling inadequate in my faith. I do not understand the Word of God most of the time and it's left me lost and feeling like my faith isn't good enough. Like I will never be good enough. Yuck. That's really all I have to say to the feelings I've been feeling. Inadequacy is a trap. It's been trapping me for quite sometime and I've recognized that it's time for some change. The truth is there will always be someone "better" or more equipped. There will always be someone with more money. There will always be someone that succeeds more. BUT. Jesus calls the inadequate, which is who were are. When the disciples fed the 5000 in Mark 6, Jesus called them, even in their tiredness and where they felt like they were lacking. They didn't know it was possible to feed 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish but they trusted Jesus. I think that is a beautiful thing. Jesus meets us in our inadequacies and says, "Yield your inadequacy to God so that He can do with it what He will." God will use our inadequacy. He wants to use the areas of our lives where we are lacking. It's a mystery to me that people survive at all without knowing that. God will meet us in our darkest moments of inadequacy and fill that with strength and purpose. It's hard, of course, to grab a hold of that because clearly we are lacking something. Jesus believes in us and Jesus strengthens us. He told the disciples to feed the 5000 because He believed they could do it. When Jesus could have simply snapped His fingers and had 5000 items of food appear for all of the people in the crowd, He called on His disciples instead, which is what we are. Jesus is calling on us in our tiredness, discomfort, and severe lacking of skills to step out in faith and trust that He will provide what we need where we are lacking. It's time to truly believe that we can do all things through Christ because it proves true time and time again. I never know exactly what I am doing but I want to yield my inadequacies to Him.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
July 2023
|