I've been restless this week. I can't seem to get a good nights rest. I think a lot of that has had to do with the many unknowns with the state of the world right now. I am praying we choose to trust in God's provision. At least I feel like I have been praying, but in all honesty maybe my faith just isn't that strong right now. I have been lacking in that area of my life lately. In a time where I think more of us should be pressing in and giving glory to our Almighty Father. I am shying away. Honestly I am lacking in faith right now. Probably because things are really bad out there and I find myself in a trap of negativity. Do you ever feel like that? Like negativity swarms you and you can't break free from it. I find myself whining a lot more than I usually do. How selfish. To whine and complain when we are in a world-wide pandemic crisis. That's frustrating. So, today I want to choose Jesus. He didn't whine or complain when He was struck with a stone or flogged with a thorny log. Jesus pressed in to His relationship with the Father. He sought God is some of the most trying times in His life. How truly and remarkably beautiful. What a whirlwind to think that Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savor, faced the most unbearable things in life and still sought out His Father God in the midst of it all. I want to be like that. But man is it hard. When gossip and slander roll through at work, what do I do? I join in. When social media blows up with negativity and ludicrous imagery, what do I do? I join in. These things are so infuriating because I know the truth that is found in God. So, why succumb to the things of this world? Sin is one reason but I think it's more than that. I think it can be ignorance and the "join the crowd" mentality. I want to stand out, as a follower of Jesus. How do I do that? I'm never 100% sure. I think this is one of my biggest struggles that I've faced in life. I will ALWAYS and there is a reason I want to caps lock the crap out of that ALWAYS. I want to ALWAYS keep chasing after Jesus, even if I really don't know what that exactly means. I think seeking Him first in all we do is what we should do and I have a deep love for Christ. I want to do this. So, I need to keep reading the Bible and learning more even though it has been a challenge for me. If you know me, you know that I don't like to read, and I truly struggle with understanding scripture but I will NEVER stop trying. I'll never stop because Jesus never stopped for us. He cared for us until His very last breath. I don't really have much else to say today. I felt like I needed to write. It's been hard but I hope this encourages you to never stop trying to connect with God even when you feel defeated and like it's easier to get sucked into the things of this world. Remember that God has something better for you. Always. I'll try to remember that too today.
1 Comment
Ayo
3/31/2020 03:56:20 pm
Cassie! You are SO right. We are completely depraved and bent to sin when apart from Christ. And you're right. We shouldn't be like the world. Romans 12:1-2 says we must be transformed not conformed!
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